Okay so my parenting class is kinda like an anger management course - nothing like your kids driving you to your breaking point! So this is what I love about it, it teaches you how to deal with all different types of personalities and react appropriately to every situation. So my four year old Carter has been a bit of a trial for me - don't get me wrong with the more difficult ones you also get alot of personality and I wouldn't change that for anything! (I had to post this he cracked me up when he came out in this. He was totally serious and he looked like a clown. Whats with the gang symbols?)
However I have just needed answers and I think I have them! So this is my favorite part of the class so far -
The mistaken Goal Chart: Kids act a certain way in order to achieve a goal -positive or negative.
Attention
Power
Revenge
Inadequecy
Attention: This would be Eiley pulling at my shirt whining.
Action: You are supposed to keep doing what your doing but start gently rubbing their backs, giving them the attention they need. Later you follow up and explain to them the proper way to get your attention. Okay really this one is great, I felt like I was petting a dog, but it totally worked she just sat there and stopped immediately it was so funny!!!
Power and Revenge: This would be Carter - I am in constant power struggle with Carter all day long.
Action: Refuse to engage!!. Don't even start to argue with him - Duh! Why has this always been hard for me? Next suggestion that I love and has worked great with him, is give him every opportunity to be in charge. Let him help cook, have him help Eiley do something. I have had him teach me something. Really it's working absolute wonders in my house.
One more thing that has really been a huge turning point for us spending quality time 3X a day with your child. In class they call it a GEM (Genuine Encounter Moment)- Tim gave me such a hard time with that one! Anyway its the idea behind it. You give your child your undivided attention and let them be the one to start it off - so you just go and sit by them and let them talk! I love this and I honestly feel that Carter and I are bonding in a way that we never have and our power struggles are becoming few and far between!
Check out their website for some really great articles!
www.incaf.com
14 comments:
Don't you love it when someone has answers on parenting. I'm jealous. Good job. I'll have to look at that website.
That was good. I am sitting here right now on the computer feeling guilty for ignoring Luke who is right beside me saying, "MOMMY MOMMY!" We'll try that GEM thing.
Tia - I was joking about the linking thing. Love this post! I need to take a parenting class. It's hard for me to control my temper with Dallin when he's acting up. My big problem with him is hitting/hurting Bryce. I'm going to try some of these things and check out the website. Thanks!
It's: jordanandtamra.blogspot.com
Spencer does deserve a big slap in the face! Brody is so cute, but on the previews for next week Heidi reveals that he was the cause of the rumors about Lauren! I cant wait to see what happens... and I am dumber for watching it... but I love it!
Seriously. Money well spent. We need to work on our husbands so they will do the next session. I'm not very optamistic, but I'm thinking I can work something out!!
Where have I been? Love all the new posts.
You are a stinkin answer to our prayers. We wanted to take the love n logic class because we know a few people that have done it and SERIOUSLY completely changed their relaitionship with their kids...a lot more peaceful, but what I've read so far of this sounds great! LMK how it works out.
Sounds like a great parenting class. Fill us in with more answers! ..LOVE your new layout-it's totally true & totally you!
LOVE THE NEW PAGE!!! You'll have to help me!
Tia, I love that you are including a crash parenting course for the rest of us! Something you never think you'll need, but I love all of the ideas/strategies! Thanks, and your kids are adorable. Aubrey(from EA)
I love your new page and the story of your life not being what you imagined it to be, but can't imagine it any differently, I totally hear you on that one!
Tia, thanks for that, I needed it today!! I've had a screaming, sippycup throwing kid all day. How are you? Hope all is well. dragonflowersandbooks.blogspot.com
I so love your blog! Here I am expecting my fourth child and I have no idea what I'm doing. I definitely need a parenting class!
You son is 100% Noble! He looks just like your brothers, and it sounds like he acts a lot like them, too! Lucky!
~Sabra K Lemmon~
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